UGH! My little (in many ways) puppy DAWG had the nerve to complain about making an extra credit card payment this month because of all the gifts he’s purchased for me. I have no idea why he’s telling me this… as if I’m supposed to care? I decided he was going to make it up to me by sending me a $500 GC for Sephora and these amazing shoes:

Aren’t they fucking hot? I’m going to put together the perfect outfit which I’ll have puppy DAWG buy and then make a few clips for my Clips4 store. Oh and by the way PD – when the clips go up in my store you aren’t allowed to buy them. Remember I will know if you even peek at the image for the video! Don’t you dare try to be sneaky like the last time I told you to keep away from my store! You DO remember what happened last time right? You haven’t forgotten that I still have ALL of the photos/videos and e-mails that you gave me and do you remember when you purchased me the adorable leather pink Coach planner? Well, it now has two entire pages devoted to your friends, relatives and co-workers phone numbers, addresses and e-mail accounts.

Do not PLAY with me again! You have come VERY close to fucking up and you’re lucky I’m not PMS’ing at the moment because I would have lost it on you last night! You’re also very lucky I wanted those shoes and the Sephora GC (I’m reordering all my favorite products and tossing out the old ones) so badly that I just let what happened go (something I have only done ONCE before). You may have redeemed yourself by ..let’s say 20% but I have still moved you to the bottom of my list. You’re probably in tears right now because we both know it’s so important for you to be my number one pet but it’s going to take months (if it happens at all) for you to work your way back to that position. Anyway, I won’t out you to your family/friends/co-workers right now but if I don’t receive any surprises (you know I LOVE being surprised) on payday I’m going to be VERY upset and disappointed. Who knows what could happen when I get that angry. You were doing so well these last few months I’m not why you suddenly thought you had a pair of balls. It obviously wasn’t my fault so whatever is going on inside that micro brain of yours – FIX IT!

Well …it’s almost 6:30 AM and I have a busy day ahead of me ..starting at noon (if I’m not still tired). I’ll wake up, grab some coffee, do an hour on my brand new elliptical, go tanning and then relax before my girls come over for drinks and sushi. But right now it’s time for a Valium and some rest.